When I was a little kid, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. She ran a daycare. I watched her tirelessly giving to others, to family, friends, and neighbors.  I thought many of these people didn’t deserve it. But no matter how they responded to her generosity, she would continue to give and show them love.

After seeing this time and time again, I became angry and resentful. I tried telling her “Ma, you need to stop giving to these people. They are not appreciative. They don’t care about you!” She would say that you have to be loving and kind to people because if you don’t who will? I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was training me to love others despite how they treated me.

She was training me how to be a leader then. I thought it was weakness. Over time, I developed a hardness of heart. I became resentful that she continued to do this and that she did not see what I saw. I had an attitude that “no one is going to take advantage of me!” and had become selfish.  It took years of her explaining and consistently loving people in front of me for me to understand.  She taught me that other people’s response to me should not change my character. Anybody can meet anger with anger and malice with malice. 

With time and maturity, I begun to understand the message that she was trying to teach me.  I finally started to see and despite strong opposition, I became just like her. The things that I resented and fought for so long, I began see the value in. Her giving and their treatment of her never tainted who she is.

I think that this is one of the reasons that I decided to be a therapist. It is my ministry. There are countless people that are in need, emotionally. Sometimes, I give and give and do not always see the results of my efforts. Some people do not have love to give back. The people that are the hardest to get along with are sometimes the people that need unconditional love the most.

 

Julia.